God is bigger

Lately, I have been continuing to be getting sicker. Honestly, my faith is wearing thin. As every day comes, my faith seems to be getting weaker. Daily doubts plague me - Why am I getting worse? Why won't God heal me? I am becoming a useless blob. I am failure for not getting well -... I couldn't shake them from mind. Instead these feelings of hopelessness continued to grow with each passing day. 


Then last night, my mom asked for my help pick out a Veggie Tales video to send to my little cousin Genna. We were looking at all of them debating, unable to make up our minds. Then I saw the very first Veggie Tales episode, and we decided that one would be perfect. After we rewound the VHS, we decided to watch it to ensure that it stills works. Little did I know that God was going to use that tape to teach me yet again. I don't know if you remember/know what the first episode of the Veggie Tales is or not. It has two different stories in it. One has to deal with Junior Asparagus being scared and the other has to deal with Daniel in the lion's den. When Junior is scared, Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber fall into Junior's room to teach him about God. They tell Junior that God created the whole universe and deeply loves His creation. They go on to sing...
When you're lying in your bed, and the room is getting creepy... God is bigger than the boogie man, He's bigger than godzilla or the monsters on TV.... And He's watching out for you and me!  (I cut out several parts). 


Then when David is in the lion's den, I don't quite remember exactly how it went, but I do remember the message. Now matter how scary our situation is, God is there to carry us through our struggles.


There's also the song that Esther sings in the Veggie Tales video...
The battle is not our's. We look to God above. For He will guide us safely through and guard us with His love. So do not be afraid. We need not run and hide. For there is nothing that we cannot face when God is at our side.


God is bigger than my situation, and GOD will carry me through this. I do not need to worry or be scared. Now matter how scary or monstrous our situations are, God is bigger than all of them. He will carry us through the situations because of His love for us and to demonstrate His glory to others. I often get so wrapped up in my situation that I forget that this life is not mine to live, but our lives are to bring glory to God.

Craziness

It will never cease to amaze me how I am like I got this, and then God will show me in reality, I couldn't be farther from it! Like patience, so often I am like I totally have patience and trust down and then something will happen and God shows me that I truly haven't mastered either yet. A little over a week ago, I was just starting to heal from a virus that I caught and just catching up in school again. The next thing I know, I got a secondary infection from the virus and this time it was worse than before. It spread pretty rapidly and I desperately needed an antibiotic which I started on this past Tuesday. The only problem is while the antibiotic is killing the respiratory infection, it is damaging my digestive tract, which hasn't healed from the celiac thing yet. All those feelings of frustration and desperation came back in a flash. I really just don't know what to do. I'm very behind in school and in a lot of abdominal pain. All the patience, trust, and dependence  in God I have been learning seemed to just fly out the window. Today, I was simply burdened. I almost didn't go to jubilation due to the fact my abdomen is in so much pain, but I am so glad that I did! By worshiping God through song, He comforted me and gave me His peace that He has everything under control. At the end of practice, our church's minister of music talked to us about a passage from Matthew about prayer. One of the verses he talked about truly stuck out to me... 

Matthew 6:8 "... for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

It is such a beautiful promise and reminder! When everything in life seems to be crumbling, God knows what we need and He has a plan to take care of it! He knows about every little thing in our lives! It reminds me of the song..."How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure..." How deep the Father's Love

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious in about anything, but in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Something I've been learning...

The past three years have definitely been a roller coaster, but I wouldn't trade them for the anything in world. God is always in control, especially when life seems out of control. Why is it that completely trusting Him is so difficult? It should be the simplist thing. That is one lesson  that this experience taught me - I rely way too much on myself. I need to rely on God for my daily strengthen because in my own power, I will fail. In God's power, I will succeed. Don't get me wrong! I definitely do not have this mastered at all! But that is the beauty of it. I do not need to "master" it. Christianity is not a check list. It is a lifestyle and a journey. God patiently and lovingly molds us into His image, not on our accord, but through His almighty power. We are His artwork. Our life should shout to the world that we are not of this world, that we are the handy work of our Creator!