A Storm in the Midst of Sunshine

Sometimes creating a list of all of the negatives in life is just so much easier than focusing on all of the blessings that God has poured out on me. This semester has been a struggle health wise. As some people know, I manage to find doctors who are not very good. Almost any time that I share a story about what happened with such and such doctor, the listener looks at me with large eyes and is shocked that a doctor would actually do that to a patient. Unfortunately, today I added a new one of those stories to my journey. However, I am going to skip over what happened today and leave it as another door closed. I sat in my car in this particular doctor's parking lot for a while just wondering what I am to do next. I have been itching to get back to Dallas ever since I came home in January. While I have made some health progress, I have not made nearly enough to go to Dallas in August. I felt alone as I sat there in my car.

While it is a beautiful day full of glorious sunshine, I am a raging storm on the inside. The hardest thing about this whole situation is that I am having to let go of all of my plans and dreams. I am a planner and doer by nature. While I have been learning to loosely hold onto plans, I have never had to completely let go of everything and come to a place where I dust every plan, aspiration, and dream off of my hands and look to God with completely empty hands. I have always known that there is nothing that I can give God, but I have never had to purge myself of everything while focusing on Him before.In the midst of countless tears today, I have slowly felt God's peace come to rest inside of me again. I know that everything is going to okay, and God has a plan that is unfolding. I have no idea what His plan is at all, but He is in control. And most importantly by His mercy, I am okay with that. I have no idea where I am going to be come August, but I do not know need to know right at this second.While I am still upset about what happened today, I know that God has everything under control and that He has not abandoned me.

Then, He began to remind me of all of my blessings. I am richly blessed with a wonderful family who constantly supports and encourages me. They pray for me regularly and ask their friends to do the same. I am also richly blessed with friends and mentors who also regularly pray for me and encourage me. I could not ask for more! I am eternally grateful for every person that God has placed in my life! I am overwhelmed by their love, encouragement and prayers! It deeply humbles me and I am so blessed by each and every person in my life.

The Lord Jesus is the anchor of my soul. He will never leave nor forsake His children. He will give me His strength to live each day. I do not know what you are going through, but I can ensure you that while everything may seem to be crumbling and falling around you, Jesus is right there besides you! He is not going to let you fall. I hope that this can encourage you while/when you go through a storm! It may be the darkest storm that you are going through, but Jesus will carry you through it!

Matt 11:28-30 
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Psalm 34:17-22
17 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
    and delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
    but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
20 He keeps all his bones;
    not one of them is broken.
21 Affliction will slay the wicked,
    and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
22 The LORD redeems the life of his servants;
    none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

Psalm 23 

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms%2023&version=ESV

Kari Jobe - Healer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yzejd6r9DwE